THE ONLOOKER

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN Between 18 and 22, a woman is like   Africa   - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like   Europe   - well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like   Spain   - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece - gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like   Great Britain,   with a glorious and all-conquering past... Between 51 and 60, a woman is like   Israel -   has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of busine...

Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the Sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing my chickens." "What do you want me to do?" asked the Sheriff. "I don't care," said Farmer John. "Just do something about these crazy drivers!" So the next day, the county workers erected a sign that said SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING. Three days later Farmer John called the Sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster." So, again, the Sheriff sent out the county workers and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. But that sped the drivers up even more! So Farmer John kept calling...

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind was made." Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them." The confused girl returns to her mother and says: "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says we developed from monkeys?" The mother answers, "Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side."